Reimagining Breakups, Introvert hangovers, and the Vulnerability of Asking for Help
Food for thought on knowing yourself.
I come across so many nuggets of inspiration that prompt me to think about knowing ourselves, including knowing our yeses and nos, that I’m going to share several each week. This week’s selection covers subjects including recognising the truth about the end of a relationship, defining ‘enough’, and asking for help not being a ‘debt’. I hope within what I share, you might find permission, peace, and more insight into yourself.
“There is really no need for devastation or anger over relationship endings anymore since both souls are always involved in determining the relationship’s form. ... your soul gives you what you need—either relationships or space.” Penney Peirce via Jenny Blake. I’ve been thinking about breakups a lot recently, partly because I talk to clients about them but also because I went through a big one with my mother earlier this year.
Penney’s words hit me right between the eyes 🎯 and felt oddly comforting. Of course, we’re going to feel some kind of way when our relationships end, whether it’s of our choosing or not, and depending on what went down, our emotional baggage, and how we feel (or don’t feel) our feelings. Plenty of us, however, are also familiar with the pain that comes from forcing things, from trying too hard, from trying to control the uncontrollable. Sometimes what we need is space, not pushing for something to be what our idea of the relationship should be. If we keep overriding ourselves and distrusting our nos, we won’t get to discover that. Two of my most popular podcast episodes are The Truth About Breakups and Let’s Talk About Family Estrangement.
“…what is an introvert hangover? According to Choosing Therapy, an introvert hangover includes social fatigue, mental and physical exhaustion, and burnout felt by introverts after they have spent too much time socializing with others. This feeling occurs because introverts are drained by interactions with others and need time alone to recharge.
An introvert can go to a party and have fun, but they feel exhausted afterwards, whereas an extrovert is more likely to feel energized and ready for more. Once an introvert is feeling hungover, this feeling will usually persist until they have had adequate time away from socializing to recharge and refresh.” I felt so seen!
Questions to ponder as you work out what you might want to do next and what you’re ready to leave behind. What have you learned, and what have you had to let go of in terms of beliefs and expectations in order to get what you are now? And for the next version of you, what do you need to learn, know or let go of for the next part of your journey? - Alice Sheridan on the Art Juice pod.