Great article. I can really relate to all you've written and it's caused me to reflect. Thank you.
I am always happy to give but I hate, absolutely loathe, the feeling of being indebted to anyone. I don't want to be weak, incapable, vulnerable, a burden to anyone, therefore I rarely ask anyone for help. I stupidly pride myself on being someone who copes, no matter what.
I am the 'strong one', the leaning post, the shoulder to cry on, the rock. I don't seek reward or recognition, but pride myself on 'being capable'.
I am of Irish stock, and stubborn self-reliance ( pride?) seems to be inbuilt.
Your writing hit home. I am silly and need to work on changing this daft self- created obstacle to healthy 'give and take'.
I grew up with the debt expectation too. I'm one of those types who needs a permission slip - Thanks for this permission slip to get off the hook, Natalie!
I was in the hospital for five days in December. My good friend helped me out by agreeing to visit my dogs, let them do their outside business, feed, and re-kennel them.
She decided on her own to clean my house, put out some Christmas decor and a small Christmas tree. (I never have a Christmas tree because I HATE putting them away. I still haven't put away one she set up for me.)
When I got home from the hospital, I thanked her sincerely.
Last month, she started "assigning" little favors for me to take care of around her house, like feeding her horse in the mornings. Her husband fed the horse a couple of times, and my friend got pretty mad and asked us, me and my husband, how I'm ever going to get her paid back for the house if he's doing the chores for me.
“I realised a part of me doesn’t want to ‘dampen the mood’, appear ‘needy’, or look like I’m ‘hogging the ‘limelight’.”
This really resonates with me. I had a health worry recently and I was torn between not wanting to worry anyone and thinking it would be nice to have some support… And also knowing that the people who care about me would want to know. It’s hard!
Great article. I can really relate to all you've written and it's caused me to reflect. Thank you.
I am always happy to give but I hate, absolutely loathe, the feeling of being indebted to anyone. I don't want to be weak, incapable, vulnerable, a burden to anyone, therefore I rarely ask anyone for help. I stupidly pride myself on being someone who copes, no matter what.
I am the 'strong one', the leaning post, the shoulder to cry on, the rock. I don't seek reward or recognition, but pride myself on 'being capable'.
I am of Irish stock, and stubborn self-reliance ( pride?) seems to be inbuilt.
Your writing hit home. I am silly and need to work on changing this daft self- created obstacle to healthy 'give and take'.
I grew up with the debt expectation too. I'm one of those types who needs a permission slip - Thanks for this permission slip to get off the hook, Natalie!
I was in the hospital for five days in December. My good friend helped me out by agreeing to visit my dogs, let them do their outside business, feed, and re-kennel them.
She decided on her own to clean my house, put out some Christmas decor and a small Christmas tree. (I never have a Christmas tree because I HATE putting them away. I still haven't put away one she set up for me.)
When I got home from the hospital, I thanked her sincerely.
Last month, she started "assigning" little favors for me to take care of around her house, like feeding her horse in the mornings. Her husband fed the horse a couple of times, and my friend got pretty mad and asked us, me and my husband, how I'm ever going to get her paid back for the house if he's doing the chores for me.
That's pretty weird, isn't it?
Valuable insight as always, Nat! xoxo
“I realised a part of me doesn’t want to ‘dampen the mood’, appear ‘needy’, or look like I’m ‘hogging the ‘limelight’.”
This really resonates with me. I had a health worry recently and I was torn between not wanting to worry anyone and thinking it would be nice to have some support… And also knowing that the people who care about me would want to know. It’s hard!