“Building a life that’s ours” This topic has been something i’ve been grappling with. Thank you for this insight. Often times when we share this with our peers or family it’s difficult to receive support that isn’t marred with their projections. This is more than a journey of just finding purpose or career path but learning to hear our own voices when no one else can do that for you.
YES to this "We will also try to tick society’s boxes for success and happiness and ignore, dismiss and override ourselves" it is really card to find our own blueprint because naturally it doesn't exist because it is OURS. Sometimes being in France I find it easier because I feel like I have my own way here of doing it and other times I see things happening back in London and worry I'm behind because I can't do any of them. Thank you for this reflective piece. AND hurrah to sending late.
This dance of emotions! You put it so well: “Suddenly, I was aware of what others were doing and it felt like I could and should aspire for more. I veered between wondering if I was too ambitious or not ambitious enough. Am I hiding from my potential? I started to feel a bit lost, behind, not enough. At the same time, I’d look at myself and my life and be like, Why am I feeling this way?”
The weirdest voices for me are also the sneaky and subtle ones around potential (and whether I’m reaching it or not, delulu about my dreams or not). Similar to you, the ones that say I’m lazy, not trying hard enough, not showing the willpower that other visible online types seem to have in 100% optimizing every iota of life and work. It’s just mY pRoCeSS I guess? 🤷🏻♀️
I find it much easier to have positive self-talk when things are going well; when they hit the fan, my Personal Development Police kick in and tell me I shoulda, woulda, coulda fixed it by now if only ________ (insert self-criticism). That’s The Work, I guess! And what maturity is for 😆
Very true and good points. Many times I find it is all just memetic desire and / or a tick box exercise. It’s easy to get pulled into thinking we want x or y because the people surrounded by you have it, or that you need to be doing more as we’re a “hustle culture”.
wow wow wow!!! i have never felt so seen!! This is exactly why i started my newsletter. I love living in the city but i hate the rate race its become, the constant comparing and self-judgment was cause all kinds of issues in my life. Last year i started focusing on being more intentional an not just following everyone else's ideas of success, fun or whatever else i was judging myself for!!! Thank you for the reminder im not chasing a crazy dream!!
“Building a life that’s ours” This topic has been something i’ve been grappling with. Thank you for this insight. Often times when we share this with our peers or family it’s difficult to receive support that isn’t marred with their projections. This is more than a journey of just finding purpose or career path but learning to hear our own voices when no one else can do that for you.
I love this! “they’re all precipitated by achieving something, loss or rejection, and lifestyle shifts.” 👏🏻
YES to this "We will also try to tick society’s boxes for success and happiness and ignore, dismiss and override ourselves" it is really card to find our own blueprint because naturally it doesn't exist because it is OURS. Sometimes being in France I find it easier because I feel like I have my own way here of doing it and other times I see things happening back in London and worry I'm behind because I can't do any of them. Thank you for this reflective piece. AND hurrah to sending late.
This dance of emotions! You put it so well: “Suddenly, I was aware of what others were doing and it felt like I could and should aspire for more. I veered between wondering if I was too ambitious or not ambitious enough. Am I hiding from my potential? I started to feel a bit lost, behind, not enough. At the same time, I’d look at myself and my life and be like, Why am I feeling this way?”
The weirdest voices for me are also the sneaky and subtle ones around potential (and whether I’m reaching it or not, delulu about my dreams or not). Similar to you, the ones that say I’m lazy, not trying hard enough, not showing the willpower that other visible online types seem to have in 100% optimizing every iota of life and work. It’s just mY pRoCeSS I guess? 🤷🏻♀️
I find it much easier to have positive self-talk when things are going well; when they hit the fan, my Personal Development Police kick in and tell me I shoulda, woulda, coulda fixed it by now if only ________ (insert self-criticism). That’s The Work, I guess! And what maturity is for 😆
Very true and good points. Many times I find it is all just memetic desire and / or a tick box exercise. It’s easy to get pulled into thinking we want x or y because the people surrounded by you have it, or that you need to be doing more as we’re a “hustle culture”.
Yep. I stopped chasing.
wow wow wow!!! i have never felt so seen!! This is exactly why i started my newsletter. I love living in the city but i hate the rate race its become, the constant comparing and self-judgment was cause all kinds of issues in my life. Last year i started focusing on being more intentional an not just following everyone else's ideas of success, fun or whatever else i was judging myself for!!! Thank you for the reminder im not chasing a crazy dream!!