Oof! I felt this one in my bones. It’s been my year of low energy, too.
I’ve started thinking a lot about the superpower having low energy gives you, if you let it. When you have a finite amount of energy to spend on things, you start to really notice the effect people have on that energy. Who is taking it? Who is giving it? Whose company uplifts me? Who do I feel myself around? Ooohhhweeeee that’s a big one. I ended a major friendship because I noticed I was drained every time I saw her.
Sounds so obvious, but noticing helps me. Noticing how people make me feel. Noticing where emotions show up in my body. Noticing the way the light hits the leaves on the trees! Noticing when I’m hungry, what I actually feel like eating. Noticing tiny little improvements. Noticing stuff!!!! It’s the one xxx
I love this perspective so much, Kate. The noticing is so powerfuland nourishing. As tiresome as it’s sometimes felt to be this way, I've let go of a lot of stuff and slowed down in ways I would have been unlikely to otherwise. I'm a better version of myself as a result of being low energy, and that's felt confusing in its own way, especially as someone who’s been so driven and defined by effort.
This resonated A LOT! Particularly "it's as if my tinnitus doesn't want me to do anything" - I feel that about my body all the time and it's so frustrating. Also, feeling that way then adds to the exhaustion because you just think "well, what's the point anyway!" and then you feel grumpy and lethargic.
The other point that resonated was the "justifying zone" - I think I might be deeply, deeply stuck in that at the moment. So I'm going to make some time and ask myself, what if I was just wrong? I think that's already unlocked something for me, so thank you! xxx
It's so hard feeling frustrated with your body because it's also your house, and you live there. It's not like you can move 🤣 So it becomes about truly learning compassion, patience and tolerance so that we can listen. But then it's also a pain in the tits. Sometimes I feel like all I do is listen 🤣 Running confusing, exhausting rings around myself. Like you say, “what's the point anyway!”
And I'm glad to have unlocked something for you. ❤️🙏🏾
This is really beautiful, Natalie. I appreciate your openness.
I wonder if low energy often results when we stop using stress to drive us? It's like our system primarily knows how to use stress as an energy source, and we then need to find more sustainable energy sources (such as feeling on purpose, etc.).
In terms of practical things, I really love earthing (putting your bare feet in the sand or on grass) as well as earthing/grounding mats (as created by Clint Ober).
Ooh, I felt your question deeply, Bere. I'm a recovering people pleaser whose people-pleasing style is efforting. Now that I've made a very conscious choice to back away from that, it's like my body doesn't know what to do with itself. It's as if it even feels a bit threatened. You're so right that it's about finding another (sustainable) way. I love earthing, and now I have to investigate those mats! Thank you!
Oh, I'm so glad this question was helpful for you, Natalie! And also so glad that you consciously decided to step back from people-pleasing... you deserve to please yourself and your soul first and foremost! 🧡
A concept that I came across that I found really helpful is that our bodies get used to the emotional cocktail we habitually experience (whether it's pleasant emotions or unpleasant ones). So, for instance, if we've been in stressful situations for a while, and then we go on a beautiful vacation where all our needs are taken care of, our body is still expecting its habitual "hit" of stress hormones and demanding it more and more forcefully. Until, eventually, the body is used to a different emotional cocktail, for instance, one based more on peace or love or well-being.
So, from that perspective, your body not knowing what to do with itself and feeling even a bit threatened would be very normal for a while, until it's used to the new and improved normal. :)
So much gold in here, Nat. I've marvelled at myself in the past who had so much more energy and then I remember that a) I didn't think there was an option to not have energy and so I made myself keep going to do all the things and make everyone happy, and b) in my 20s I only had a couple of decades of trying to do all the things and make every one happy but by the time I got to my late 30s and 40s I had been doing it for twice as long so no wonder I was knackered! Now at 48 I don't have the energy and I'm better (not brilliant but better) at being okay with that and honouring it to others.
You're so right about not feeling like it's an option to not have energy. You dig deep into your resources and push through, borrowing from tomorrow or even the following week… until it eventually all catches up on you.
I've realised I have less and less tolerance for making everyone happy at my expense. It's such a radical shift—and a good one.
I highly recommend a food diary, including everything that you ingest, such as your meds and vitamins in addition to food and drink.
I was sick for years before I finally diagnosed myself with a sulfite sensitivity. Recently, I discovered my months of feeling ill are due to eating beef and pork. I hadn't done a food diary and chocked it up to lingering Covid symptoms. Very low energy was one of my symptoms. All good now that I've cut out all mammalian meat from my diet!
Donna, your comment came right on time! Thank you ❤️ It took less than 48 hours into our Thailand trip for me to have one of my ‘episodes’. So.ill. It's my third episode in as many months after a several-month break. I already know I'm sensitive to sulfites because I stopped drinking wine over ten years ago. I'd feel like I had the flu after drinking it. I haven't been violently ill from pork, but I'd say in 90% of the instances, it’s involved beef. I'm going to investigate the sulfites further!
This is an absolutely brilliant and beautiful post, with so many useful questions to ask ourselves!! Thank you again, Natalie!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Like many people, I have an ideal version of myself in my head who never gets tired, and I feel frustrated with myself when I find I don’t have the energy to do all the things I planned/committed/wanted to do and have to cancel some things (or I get sick and run down pushing ahead trying to do it all, and then I am FORCED to slow down, and probably end up getting less done than I would have if I had paced myself more gently in the first place!! 😄)
Also when it comes to creativity, I’ve realised some of my best ideas pop into my mind when I stop to breathe and chill out!! 😄
Plus I could relate to what you said about having less physical energy in your 40s as I’m starting to notice that about myself too and am learning what my new limits are. ❤️
Thank you! It's so true what you say about pacing yourself. If we don't go at things like the clappers, maybe we wouldn't be so wrecked in the first place. I have to accept that I'm not 15 heading out to the discos in Dublin anymore 🤣
I also agree that I feel like I have space for the best of my ideas when I have lots of margin. As soon as I'm genuinely relaxed, suddenly, I'm getting pings of great ideas crystallising.
I've been feeling very low energy lately: pregnancy, house with a lot of tidying to be done, lots of laundry to do, part time teaching job. Eating well and staying hydrated is a little difficult because of the nausea. I really feel like chilling out in the mornings while kids are at school/daycare, but at the same time I think: So how and when will things get done, then?? Now is the moment to get them done! Afternoons aren't that easy. And I just can't find the moment to do what I like, but also, feel crappy about procrastinating, feel that "how can I slow down if I'm already too slow, so behind on household chores", and really don't feel like doing anything, and have very little interest in my job. Need to get a lot more organised, but really feel like breathing and slowing down.
That sounds like a lot, Maria. I feel exhausted for you. I remember feeling like I had so much time to rest first time around. Like I could almost luxuriate in the experience of it. And then second pregnancy, I juggled a toddler and felt wrecked.
I have a theory about procrastination in that it's a tension-relief response to having said too much yes. It's what happens when we expect too much of ourselves. The way we (and others) expect ourselves to mother is so unrealistic. The Mother Load. But something has to give. You're just not going to be able to do ‘everything.’
HARD relate, to everything aside from the tinnitus (that does not sound fun!). My head and heart are in a deep place of conflict right now. It is absolutely my reason for low energy. I am reading "wintering" right now. Have you read it? It is such an exquisite look at how life unfolds in seasons and the need for rest and "wintering" in times of grief or loss.
I thought I’d replied to this. Thank you so much. Sorry you’re going through it too. I read Wintering a few winters back, and you’ve reminded me to reread it. I think that recognising that we (and life) are seasonal is key. We’re not machines with the same energy day in day out… like machines. The whole leading with your heart and then supporting it with your head is crucial but can really feel like a struggle. What’s helping me is focusing on how I want to feel and continue feeling and noticing what does and doesn’t match that.
Your comment also reminded me of a conversation I had during what was probably my worst year of tinnitus. I had a session with an energy healer, Master OH, whom I’d met at The Mindful Living Show. He told me that I have a very strong mind and use it to override my body and make it do what I want to do. Like start from scratch training for a marathon and run it 4 months later… He said that it put me in conflict and caused my body to get my attention in other ways because I don’t listen and then demand too much of myself under the guise of, for instance, pursuing goals, wanting to be there for others, and also trying to do things ‘right’ so I don’t look wrong or silly.
Check out the symptoms for Alpha Gal allergy. I had all of the symptoms except the severe ones. I tested negative for the antibodies, but there are other meat protein allergies too.
I looked this up while I was away and found the tab still open on my phone a few days ago. Thank you. Some of it sounds familiar, although the chief triggers for years has been seafood and beef, typically mince, like in meatballs, but not always. But what you’ve shared echoes something I read a few years back about a substance in some red meat, so I must dig into this more now I’m back.
As always, you manage to write so clearly and in such effective terms about what it is just to be. Always full of nuggets of wisdom too, that set me thinking and looking to put into practice. Thanks for the sharing, in such a straightforward way, what's going on for you right now.
How ironic that I started reading this, then couldn't finish it because I got a humdinger of a Covid infection, that led me to wonder if I was heading back down a burnout / chronic fatigue rabbit hole. After a year when I have been way kinder to myself than ever before, it just goes to show how certain stages in life take so much out of you that being kind and patient with your body and your mind can be a basic necessity. It's taken me until today to get back to finishing your article.
It's those little low level background alerts, like tinnitus or the 'mini' energy crashes that we all experience, that it's good to pay attention to before they become overwhelming.
Glad to be learning these things from you and with you, so much resonance here.
Oof! I felt this one in my bones. It’s been my year of low energy, too.
I’ve started thinking a lot about the superpower having low energy gives you, if you let it. When you have a finite amount of energy to spend on things, you start to really notice the effect people have on that energy. Who is taking it? Who is giving it? Whose company uplifts me? Who do I feel myself around? Ooohhhweeeee that’s a big one. I ended a major friendship because I noticed I was drained every time I saw her.
Sounds so obvious, but noticing helps me. Noticing how people make me feel. Noticing where emotions show up in my body. Noticing the way the light hits the leaves on the trees! Noticing when I’m hungry, what I actually feel like eating. Noticing tiny little improvements. Noticing stuff!!!! It’s the one xxx
I love this perspective so much, Kate. The noticing is so powerfuland nourishing. As tiresome as it’s sometimes felt to be this way, I've let go of a lot of stuff and slowed down in ways I would have been unlikely to otherwise. I'm a better version of myself as a result of being low energy, and that's felt confusing in its own way, especially as someone who’s been so driven and defined by effort.
This resonated A LOT! Particularly "it's as if my tinnitus doesn't want me to do anything" - I feel that about my body all the time and it's so frustrating. Also, feeling that way then adds to the exhaustion because you just think "well, what's the point anyway!" and then you feel grumpy and lethargic.
The other point that resonated was the "justifying zone" - I think I might be deeply, deeply stuck in that at the moment. So I'm going to make some time and ask myself, what if I was just wrong? I think that's already unlocked something for me, so thank you! xxx
It's so hard feeling frustrated with your body because it's also your house, and you live there. It's not like you can move 🤣 So it becomes about truly learning compassion, patience and tolerance so that we can listen. But then it's also a pain in the tits. Sometimes I feel like all I do is listen 🤣 Running confusing, exhausting rings around myself. Like you say, “what's the point anyway!”
And I'm glad to have unlocked something for you. ❤️🙏🏾
This is really beautiful, Natalie. I appreciate your openness.
I wonder if low energy often results when we stop using stress to drive us? It's like our system primarily knows how to use stress as an energy source, and we then need to find more sustainable energy sources (such as feeling on purpose, etc.).
In terms of practical things, I really love earthing (putting your bare feet in the sand or on grass) as well as earthing/grounding mats (as created by Clint Ober).
Ooh, I felt your question deeply, Bere. I'm a recovering people pleaser whose people-pleasing style is efforting. Now that I've made a very conscious choice to back away from that, it's like my body doesn't know what to do with itself. It's as if it even feels a bit threatened. You're so right that it's about finding another (sustainable) way. I love earthing, and now I have to investigate those mats! Thank you!
Oh, I'm so glad this question was helpful for you, Natalie! And also so glad that you consciously decided to step back from people-pleasing... you deserve to please yourself and your soul first and foremost! 🧡
A concept that I came across that I found really helpful is that our bodies get used to the emotional cocktail we habitually experience (whether it's pleasant emotions or unpleasant ones). So, for instance, if we've been in stressful situations for a while, and then we go on a beautiful vacation where all our needs are taken care of, our body is still expecting its habitual "hit" of stress hormones and demanding it more and more forcefully. Until, eventually, the body is used to a different emotional cocktail, for instance, one based more on peace or love or well-being.
So, from that perspective, your body not knowing what to do with itself and feeling even a bit threatened would be very normal for a while, until it's used to the new and improved normal. :)
So much gold in here, Nat. I've marvelled at myself in the past who had so much more energy and then I remember that a) I didn't think there was an option to not have energy and so I made myself keep going to do all the things and make everyone happy, and b) in my 20s I only had a couple of decades of trying to do all the things and make every one happy but by the time I got to my late 30s and 40s I had been doing it for twice as long so no wonder I was knackered! Now at 48 I don't have the energy and I'm better (not brilliant but better) at being okay with that and honouring it to others.
You're so right about not feeling like it's an option to not have energy. You dig deep into your resources and push through, borrowing from tomorrow or even the following week… until it eventually all catches up on you.
I've realised I have less and less tolerance for making everyone happy at my expense. It's such a radical shift—and a good one.
Sure is!
One of the elements of restoring energy has to do with advice given by you!
Please know how relevant and useful your “no nonsense” yet gentle advice is to your readership?!
Big thank you!
Aw, thank you so much, Mary. It's my pleasure ❤️
I highly recommend a food diary, including everything that you ingest, such as your meds and vitamins in addition to food and drink.
I was sick for years before I finally diagnosed myself with a sulfite sensitivity. Recently, I discovered my months of feeling ill are due to eating beef and pork. I hadn't done a food diary and chocked it up to lingering Covid symptoms. Very low energy was one of my symptoms. All good now that I've cut out all mammalian meat from my diet!
Donna, your comment came right on time! Thank you ❤️ It took less than 48 hours into our Thailand trip for me to have one of my ‘episodes’. So.ill. It's my third episode in as many months after a several-month break. I already know I'm sensitive to sulfites because I stopped drinking wine over ten years ago. I'd feel like I had the flu after drinking it. I haven't been violently ill from pork, but I'd say in 90% of the instances, it’s involved beef. I'm going to investigate the sulfites further!
This is an absolutely brilliant and beautiful post, with so many useful questions to ask ourselves!! Thank you again, Natalie!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Like many people, I have an ideal version of myself in my head who never gets tired, and I feel frustrated with myself when I find I don’t have the energy to do all the things I planned/committed/wanted to do and have to cancel some things (or I get sick and run down pushing ahead trying to do it all, and then I am FORCED to slow down, and probably end up getting less done than I would have if I had paced myself more gently in the first place!! 😄)
Also when it comes to creativity, I’ve realised some of my best ideas pop into my mind when I stop to breathe and chill out!! 😄
Plus I could relate to what you said about having less physical energy in your 40s as I’m starting to notice that about myself too and am learning what my new limits are. ❤️
Thank you! It's so true what you say about pacing yourself. If we don't go at things like the clappers, maybe we wouldn't be so wrecked in the first place. I have to accept that I'm not 15 heading out to the discos in Dublin anymore 🤣
I also agree that I feel like I have space for the best of my ideas when I have lots of margin. As soon as I'm genuinely relaxed, suddenly, I'm getting pings of great ideas crystallising.
I am also perimenopausal and suffer from constant tinnitus… It is no joke! Sending you a big virtual hug!
Thanks a million, Nat, this is an amazing post! ✨
I've been feeling very low energy lately: pregnancy, house with a lot of tidying to be done, lots of laundry to do, part time teaching job. Eating well and staying hydrated is a little difficult because of the nausea. I really feel like chilling out in the mornings while kids are at school/daycare, but at the same time I think: So how and when will things get done, then?? Now is the moment to get them done! Afternoons aren't that easy. And I just can't find the moment to do what I like, but also, feel crappy about procrastinating, feel that "how can I slow down if I'm already too slow, so behind on household chores", and really don't feel like doing anything, and have very little interest in my job. Need to get a lot more organised, but really feel like breathing and slowing down.
Xx
That sounds like a lot, Maria. I feel exhausted for you. I remember feeling like I had so much time to rest first time around. Like I could almost luxuriate in the experience of it. And then second pregnancy, I juggled a toddler and felt wrecked.
I have a theory about procrastination in that it's a tension-relief response to having said too much yes. It's what happens when we expect too much of ourselves. The way we (and others) expect ourselves to mother is so unrealistic. The Mother Load. But something has to give. You're just not going to be able to do ‘everything.’
HARD relate, to everything aside from the tinnitus (that does not sound fun!). My head and heart are in a deep place of conflict right now. It is absolutely my reason for low energy. I am reading "wintering" right now. Have you read it? It is such an exquisite look at how life unfolds in seasons and the need for rest and "wintering" in times of grief or loss.
I thought I’d replied to this. Thank you so much. Sorry you’re going through it too. I read Wintering a few winters back, and you’ve reminded me to reread it. I think that recognising that we (and life) are seasonal is key. We’re not machines with the same energy day in day out… like machines. The whole leading with your heart and then supporting it with your head is crucial but can really feel like a struggle. What’s helping me is focusing on how I want to feel and continue feeling and noticing what does and doesn’t match that.
Your comment also reminded me of a conversation I had during what was probably my worst year of tinnitus. I had a session with an energy healer, Master OH, whom I’d met at The Mindful Living Show. He told me that I have a very strong mind and use it to override my body and make it do what I want to do. Like start from scratch training for a marathon and run it 4 months later… He said that it put me in conflict and caused my body to get my attention in other ways because I don’t listen and then demand too much of myself under the guise of, for instance, pursuing goals, wanting to be there for others, and also trying to do things ‘right’ so I don’t look wrong or silly.
Lots of this resonates with me so sending care, I hope you feel able to take a read of my piece on burnout and the role of the collective as would love to know what you think. https://open.substack.com/pub/classgrief/p/burnout-the-blame-game
Check out the symptoms for Alpha Gal allergy. I had all of the symptoms except the severe ones. I tested negative for the antibodies, but there are other meat protein allergies too.
I looked this up while I was away and found the tab still open on my phone a few days ago. Thank you. Some of it sounds familiar, although the chief triggers for years has been seafood and beef, typically mince, like in meatballs, but not always. But what you’ve shared echoes something I read a few years back about a substance in some red meat, so I must dig into this more now I’m back.
Many food allergies don't show up until hours after you eat, hence the need for a diary.
My Psychiatrist just put me on ADHD meds and I feel like a new person!
As always, you manage to write so clearly and in such effective terms about what it is just to be. Always full of nuggets of wisdom too, that set me thinking and looking to put into practice. Thanks for the sharing, in such a straightforward way, what's going on for you right now.
How ironic that I started reading this, then couldn't finish it because I got a humdinger of a Covid infection, that led me to wonder if I was heading back down a burnout / chronic fatigue rabbit hole. After a year when I have been way kinder to myself than ever before, it just goes to show how certain stages in life take so much out of you that being kind and patient with your body and your mind can be a basic necessity. It's taken me until today to get back to finishing your article.
It's those little low level background alerts, like tinnitus or the 'mini' energy crashes that we all experience, that it's good to pay attention to before they become overwhelming.
Glad to be learning these things from you and with you, so much resonance here.
Thank you :-)