Something I’ve thought a lot about over the last few months is how various iterations of me have believed that I should know better, should be able to figure it all out myself, and should be, do and have more.
“You’re the oldest, you should know better” arrrrrrrrgh this has been a rod for so much! For the first time, I’m thinking this is why I’ve had this unconscious belief that you have to have everything figured out, even though no one specifically told me you need to have it all mapped out.
As the eldest, I totally empathise. Like we've had so much wisdom conferred on us just because we happened to come out of the birth canal/tummy first. And then we live our lives thinking that we have to be self-reliant, super wise and have everything figured out. Ugh!
Sometimes I think you're in my head hearing all my struggles and then you just write up something perfect to help me get back on track :) Definitely needed to hear this today. Recently I've started recognizing extra baggage that was hidden in the back of the train, so to speak, and thinking about going through the Baggage Reclaim exercises again to work through them. I am most definitely too hard on myself/expect too much and struggle to give myself a break. Work in progress!
I hear you. Something or someone taught you that being this way was the norm. They didn't give you a break or had such high expectations of themselves and others that you assumed it's The Way Things Have To Be. It's not about blame, as you know, but more understanding the journey you've travelled to this point.
i've been working on boundaries, and noticing when people are crossing mine, then feeling ok with not seeing those people who don't respect my boundaries. i continually give them another chance, then feel worse and worse each time. you're right, there was no teaching on this.
Yep, the more chances you give, the more you override yourself. We're taught about "forgive and forget", how "blood is thicker than water" and the like, but not about when it's time to call time on something. It's as if there are no limits to what we put up with, and there *are*, we just weren't taught this.
Without realizing it, listening to this showed me that I’m trying to break this cycle with my eldest nephew, right alongside me. I’d give anything for him to get it first, I won’t lie; that generation “gets it” more than mine, so he may be alright. But I’ll continue trying for myself too nonetheless.
Just downloaded this app, and will be listening to the episodes. This is great. Thank you.
“You’re the oldest, you should know better” arrrrrrrrgh this has been a rod for so much! For the first time, I’m thinking this is why I’ve had this unconscious belief that you have to have everything figured out, even though no one specifically told me you need to have it all mapped out.
As the eldest, I totally empathise. Like we've had so much wisdom conferred on us just because we happened to come out of the birth canal/tummy first. And then we live our lives thinking that we have to be self-reliant, super wise and have everything figured out. Ugh!
Excellent to hear the podcast is coming back 😊
Thank you!
Sometimes I think you're in my head hearing all my struggles and then you just write up something perfect to help me get back on track :) Definitely needed to hear this today. Recently I've started recognizing extra baggage that was hidden in the back of the train, so to speak, and thinking about going through the Baggage Reclaim exercises again to work through them. I am most definitely too hard on myself/expect too much and struggle to give myself a break. Work in progress!
Also excited the podcast is coming back!
I hear you. Something or someone taught you that being this way was the norm. They didn't give you a break or had such high expectations of themselves and others that you assumed it's The Way Things Have To Be. It's not about blame, as you know, but more understanding the journey you've travelled to this point.
i've been working on boundaries, and noticing when people are crossing mine, then feeling ok with not seeing those people who don't respect my boundaries. i continually give them another chance, then feel worse and worse each time. you're right, there was no teaching on this.
Yep, the more chances you give, the more you override yourself. We're taught about "forgive and forget", how "blood is thicker than water" and the like, but not about when it's time to call time on something. It's as if there are no limits to what we put up with, and there *are*, we just weren't taught this.
Yes! I wrote an essay on exactly this topic
Really needed to hear this today.
You're so welcome!
Yes to all of this! And yes to the returning podcast!💫🎉
Yay! And I miss you!
On point!!
Thank you!
Without realizing it, listening to this showed me that I’m trying to break this cycle with my eldest nephew, right alongside me. I’d give anything for him to get it first, I won’t lie; that generation “gets it” more than mine, so he may be alright. But I’ll continue trying for myself too nonetheless.
Just downloaded this app, and will be listening to the episodes. This is great. Thank you.