Possessions, Patterns, and What I Learned About Myself from Decluttering

Insights from a decade of decluttering frenzies in a quest for 'mindful consumption'.

Over the last decade, I’ve had intense spurts of decluttering, mostly donating items to charity or passing some onto loved ones. During these periods, I’m gripped by a get-this-sh*t-out-of-your-house fever for anything from a few days to several weeks. I’ve felt a sense of having “too much” stuff, which represented where, with the best of intentions no doubt, I’d said yes too much and not enough no, even to myself.

Reading books like Marie Kondo’s ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up’ along with watching her Netflix show ‘Tidying Up’ and other shows like ‘The Minimalists: Less is Now’ undoubtedly influenced my declutterring frenzies. There’s an underlying implication that tidying or getting rid of possessions and living with less will solve your problems or at least make you feel better as a person. By being a more conscious consumer, you can also theoretically do more good in the world by not contributing to the ills of overconsumption, such as the effects on the planet and exploitation.

Work also influenced my decluttering. I notice and read patterns for a living and help people unpack, declutter and tidy up their emotional baggage so they can reclaim themselves. I’m always curious about where patterns are metaphors for other aspects of our lives.

How we do something is how we do other things, even if we’re entirely unaware of it.

What are our possessions and habits trying to tell us?

Is the way we engage with something (e.g. money, food, alcohol, exercise, work, pleasure) representative of that relationship functioning well in our life, or is it pointing to unresolved baggage and a need to shift in awareness and habits?

I figured letting go of anything that didn’t, as Kondo says, “spark joy” would help me appreciate what I own and, hopefully, be intentional about future purchases. I wanted a more mindful relationship with consumption (and money).

So I’d experience these frenzies where I was basically like, “Right, I’m gonna go at this declutterring like gangbusters and rid the entire house of anything surplus in the next month.” Soooooo unrealistic.

I’d fill up bags and pack the boot of the car, sometimes then forgetting to drop off the stuff for a while. I’d gradually run out of steam or get caught up in something else, and there would be an annoying pile or corner that I’d keep telling myself I need to address. Life would take over. Then I’d read (or watch or hear) something else¹ and the surge would start again.

So, of course, I got curious about what was happening during and in between these surges.

By reflecting on the patterns but also on what I’ve purchased, held onto, loved, let go of (and sometimes regretted letting go of), I picked up on some key themes that I learned a lot about myself from. Hopefully, what I share might help you understand and know yourself better.