Everything we do is driven by how well we do or don't know ourselves. “On Knowing Yourself” is about listening to yourself and figuring out your happy yeses and hard passes so that you get to live more of a fulfilling, joyful life. My newsletter is a mix of stories and curation that will likely resonate with something in your own life so that you can tune into yourself.
We’re all, in childhood, socialised and conditioned to some degree to be people pleasers and this taught us to be disconnected from ourselves. Next thing, we’re in the throes of adulthood wondering why certain things feel so hard or keep happening to us.
What matters to you? What do you need to let go of even though you might be clinging on for dear life? Are you aware of your needs, desires, expectations, feelings and opinions, or are you suppressing and repressing yourself to please others? Where do you need to say no so that you get to say yes to being more of who you really are?
This newsletter represents an opportunity to forge deeper connections with readers while also getting to write in a more personal way. It feels like the good ole days with comments and stories about my life that help you figure out your ‘knowing’ in yours. This is a place for me to talk about things that there just isn’t the space or even will to do that on social media. I’ll share behind-the-scenes of navigating what can be hard things and how there’s also joy contained within these.
Whether you become a free or paid subscriber, I hope you’ll join me on this journey of knowing yourself.
The difference between free and paid subscriptions
Free subscribers get the newsletter (sent twice a month), which sometimes recommendations (reading/watching/listening).
When you become a paid subscriber, aside from supporting independent writing and helping to keep the proverbial lights on, you also get access to masterclasses (e.g. Is/Was This The Right Job/Relationship for Me? and How To Be More Emotionally Available), access to the archives, and two Relationship Fundamentals masterclasses worth $100 each.
About me
Howya! I’m a writer, author, artist, coach and podcaster who helps people pleasers, perfectionists and relationship strugglers overcome their emotional baggage so that they can become more of who they really are. I started blogging in June 2004 after a bad date, and am the writer of one of the longest-running self-help blogs in the world, Baggage Reclaim, and, until February 2023, hosted The Baggage Reclaim Sessions (over 4.5 million downloads).
I self-published my first four books, including Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl and The No Contact Rule). My latest book, The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want was published in Jan 2023 by HarperCollins/Harper Horizon. I’ve been featured/quoted in the New York Times, the Washington Post, Stylist, NPR, The Observer, The Guardian, Lorraine, the BBC, and many more.
Born in England, raised mainly in Dublin, Ireland, my parents are Jamaican/Jamaican-Chinese. I’m mid-forties living on the edge of south east London in Caterham, Surrey, with my husband, two teen daughters, and our super-intense cockapoo. You can find me on social at @natlue.
