This is so brilliant - thanks Natalie. I’ve been playing with this recently and particularly through a little adventure into stand-up comedy that I’m unexpectedly having. It’s liberating to know that I can’t please everyone AND there will always be people who are not used to giving feedback who will come in with their unsolicited words! Thank you 🤩
Aw, lovely to hear from you, Emma. I’ve caught little bits of your journey and am super impressed and in awe. Part of me loves the idea of trying stand-up and writing a comedy, whew, it can be brutal 🤪🤣 But I totally get what you mean about it being liberating. I found Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee quite an insight into the comic mind.
That line “criticism is one person's perception of how to do something, not the last word on your worth.” So true but so something I needed to be told!
IMHO, a lot of impact feedback has is in the delivery. The in-person-verbal kind is easier for me to give and take because there's more information imparted than just words--tone of voice, facial expressions, body language. In the written type, emojis only do a bit of the lifting. The rest of the message requires some careful writing. Interesting post. Thanks.
Yes, yes, yes. Delivery is everything, and I do agree that verbal is easier to make sense of. With words, as proven by many a text, we read in the way we want to, not necessarily how it was expressed, *but also* there’s often a lack of connection to humanness, so you’re then having to do the emotional labour of figuring out the intent, tone, etc. Emojis can also just wind up making what feels aggressive or passive aggressive even more so.
My personal pet peeve is when someone says “I love you but.. “ or “I say this with love”, especially when I don’t know the person or what they’re saying is shady 🤣
Hitting hard AGAIN … not sure whether to take your comments on feedback personally or not 😜 it’s that bloody ingrained in me. Is this also the result of a Catholic upbringing? Or can we just blame the patriarchy, for the billionth time? 🤓😳 answers on a postcard please 🤪
Natalie, Somewhere along the line I had a manager who had a unique perspective on feedback. Positive feedback is nice but useless. The growth comes in the negative feedback. - Interesting -D
Ooh, that’s a good one! I think it’s when you get the platitudes, which we kind of all want. But while that’s validating, it might not hold a great deal of insight into what we could improve or just opportunities to try something else. But I’m also very discerning about negative feedback because intent and whether the critic is sharing to genuinely help you grow without any investment in you having to do it their way or is basically trying to cut you down or make you do things their way.
This is so brilliant - thanks Natalie. I’ve been playing with this recently and particularly through a little adventure into stand-up comedy that I’m unexpectedly having. It’s liberating to know that I can’t please everyone AND there will always be people who are not used to giving feedback who will come in with their unsolicited words! Thank you 🤩
Aw, lovely to hear from you, Emma. I’ve caught little bits of your journey and am super impressed and in awe. Part of me loves the idea of trying stand-up and writing a comedy, whew, it can be brutal 🤪🤣 But I totally get what you mean about it being liberating. I found Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee quite an insight into the comic mind.
That line “criticism is one person's perception of how to do something, not the last word on your worth.” So true but so something I needed to be told!
IMHO, a lot of impact feedback has is in the delivery. The in-person-verbal kind is easier for me to give and take because there's more information imparted than just words--tone of voice, facial expressions, body language. In the written type, emojis only do a bit of the lifting. The rest of the message requires some careful writing. Interesting post. Thanks.
Yes, yes, yes. Delivery is everything, and I do agree that verbal is easier to make sense of. With words, as proven by many a text, we read in the way we want to, not necessarily how it was expressed, *but also* there’s often a lack of connection to humanness, so you’re then having to do the emotional labour of figuring out the intent, tone, etc. Emojis can also just wind up making what feels aggressive or passive aggressive even more so.
My personal pet peeve is when someone says “I love you but.. “ or “I say this with love”, especially when I don’t know the person or what they’re saying is shady 🤣
Either of those intro phrases set me on edge. I know what's to follow is something I would rather not hear or read!
Hitting hard AGAIN … not sure whether to take your comments on feedback personally or not 😜 it’s that bloody ingrained in me. Is this also the result of a Catholic upbringing? Or can we just blame the patriarchy, for the billionth time? 🤓😳 answers on a postcard please 🤪
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’d say it’s a bit of both. It’s like having it drummed into you that you’ve to feel eternally guilty and bad about yourself 🤪
Natalie, Somewhere along the line I had a manager who had a unique perspective on feedback. Positive feedback is nice but useless. The growth comes in the negative feedback. - Interesting -D
Ooh, that’s a good one! I think it’s when you get the platitudes, which we kind of all want. But while that’s validating, it might not hold a great deal of insight into what we could improve or just opportunities to try something else. But I’m also very discerning about negative feedback because intent and whether the critic is sharing to genuinely help you grow without any investment in you having to do it their way or is basically trying to cut you down or make you do things their way.
Accepting feedback takes discernment for sure. I start with do the words ring true. If yes I try to take it all in. If no - I move on. D